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Disguise

I disguise myself as a normal functioning adult human.

I wear a nice coat and am alright at my job and paint my nails and post things on the internet.

I sometimes think, if people could see me, really see me, I'd get chucked out. Become a laughing stock. Told not to bother coming back in on Monday, to life.

I used to feel this all the time, but rarely these days. I feel good, confident even, but now and then when I'm tired or sad it'll hit me.

The other day I had a wave of unexpected anxiety and couldn't leave my room all evening. I eventually had dinner at about midnight. I was okay, I wasn't panicking, I just "knew" I had to wait. Until the coast was clear. I think I was exhausted. In an odd place.

Sometimes I guess I just feel strange and I wonder if everyone else feels it too. If we're all wearing this disguise, of being normal functioning adult humans. Hoping no one will find us out.

And that kind of makes me laugh, and makes it better. We're so silly sometimes. We're all weird and we're all fine.


Written as part of Cassy Fry's DIYCreativeClub challenge.

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